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Fascinating Sex Facts

Fascinating Sex Facts

In the midst of all the information on the Internet, truth and fantasy can sometimes get mixed up – and truth often gets completely lost among the fantasies, the fiction, and the fallacies.

So to set you straight on some important measurements about sex and everything that goes with it, we’ve looked through the Internet and we’ve discovered the following amazing facts!

Penis Length

First of all, penis size is much smaller than you might think if you’ve been watching a lot of porn with well hung studs thrusting deeply into screaming women.

Penis size bears no relation to sexual pleasure.
Penis size bears no relationship to sexual pleasure.

In fact the average penis is 5.9 inches long when erect, and the size of an erect penis bears no relationship to the size of a flaccid penis.

Second of all, the physical sensations of orgasm last four times longer in a woman than a man.

Orgasmic ability is greater in women
Orgasm lasts 4 times longer in a woman than a man!

This is pretty amazing – women take longer to get aroused, women take longer to orgasm, and then, when they do come, they last for around 20 seconds in the throes of orgasm, whilst men can only muster a miserable 6 seconds on average! Maybe this reflects the fact that men get so much more pleasure from thrusting than women… Or do they?

Vagina Size

Third, the average vagina is a mere 4 inches long, and when it isn’t full of a penis or anything else that its owner cares to put inside, there’s no empty space inside it.

This does raise the interesting question of how a woman can possibly accommodate some of the giant pieces of mail equipment that we see – yes sorry to mention it again, in the porn on the Internet.

That mystery remains, as yet, unsolved, but it’s not hard to imagine that somewhere in the equation is a sensation of discomfort if not pain for the woman.

There’s been a programme on British TV recently called Naked Attraction, the premise of which is rather banal, in that people can choose a date for the night on the basis of bodily appearance alone (i.e., by looking at completely naked bodies,  excluding faces).

One notable outcome of this is that when women are presented with enormous flaccid cocks, most of them turn the guy down on the grounds that it will be too painful for them to accommodate him during lovemaking.

Makes you think, doesn’t it? In fact, it puts a completely different slant on statistic # 1 above. Better to be average, eh?

Fake It Till You … Uh… Don’t Make It!

Woman regularly fake orgasms.... oh dear.
Woman regularly fake orgasms…. oh dear.

Fourth, it may not surprise you to learn that 80% of all women admit to faking orgasm.

There are loads of reasons why women might want to fake an orgasm, but first and foremost I think is the desire to make their man feel that he’s a good lover.

The second, regrettably, is probably to stop the man thrusting because the woman is not enjoying herself during a heavy bout of pounding.

The reality is that very few women reach orgasm during intercourse – far fewer than the figures that you see bandied around the Internet, most of which are probably designed just to make men feel inadequate.

In fact only 10 or 15% women can come through vaginal intercourse alone with no additional clitoral stimulation.

So if you can’t make a woman come during intercourse, you are part of a large majority of men and women who don’t experience this pleasure!

(If you want to have the pleasurable woman coming during intercourse, massage her clitoris. That way, sex won’t go on so long, the woman will be happy with an orgasm, and you might even get the pleasure of coming as she comes.)

Sex partners

Fifth, men and women have the same number of sex partners on average. There’s a myth – and that really is all it is – that men have far more sex partners than women.

If that were true there would have to be a small number of women having sex with an enormous number of men!

Assuming that when people talk about partners they (i.e. men) are not talking about sex that they’ve paid for, the statistics turn out to be swayed by an interesting aspect of female psychology.

Women will always understate the number of sexual partners they’ve had, and men will always tend to exaggerate. (The real average for both sexes is just under 8 in a lifetime, by the way…)

This seems to be based on the belief that certain judgements follow if a woman seems to have had a lot of sex partners:  that she’ll be labelled promiscuous or a slut. Sure, and if a man admits to a lot of sex partners he’ll be labelled a stud and secretly admired.

But when you give people the opportunity to report on how many sex partners totally anonymously, so nobody can see what they’re writing down on a piece paper, guess what: men and women report exactly the same number of sex partners on average.

Length Of Intercourse

Sixth: we’ve already covered this, but why not cover it again!

The ideal duration of intercourse for women is between 7 and 10 minutes. But very few men can thrust for this long, most of them come within 5 minutes and the majority within 3. Anything going on beyond 12 minutes is really quite rare.

And in any event why are you looking at how long sex lasts?

Shouldn’t you be looking at the level of satisfaction and pleasure that you and your partner both get from sex?

When you look at it in that framework, then you might apply a completely different set of criteria to sexual intercourse.

That might be the number of orgasms reached during any kind of sex play. So, if you’re in any doubt that you’re lasting long enough, then what you might want to be doing is giving your woman orgasm through oral sex or manual pleasure before you even enter her. Satisfaction can be obtained in many different ways.

Pleasure comes in many forms
Pleasure comes in many forms

How Often, Not How Long?

The final interesting sex fact for today: how often couples have sex.

This is a bit like asking how long intercourse lasts – everybody wants know the answer to the question so they can compare themselves with the average and see if they are “adequate” in bed or not.

So get away from that mentality, because whatever you’re doing with your partner in bed, as long as you’re both happy with it and it’s satisfying for you, is good enough. But, just for the record and because we know you want to know: couples who have sex once a week are the most content.

However, it’s obvious that the number of times a week a couple have sex depends on many factors including their age and health.

So there is no right or wrong number of times to have sex, and there probably isn’t an easy way of defining an average. 

According to David Schnarch only 26% of couples are hitting the once-a-week mark, with the majority of the respondents reporting sex only once or twice a month, or less!

However, another study printed in The University of Chicago Press about 10 years ago, stated that married couples are having sex about seven times a month, which is a little less than twice a week.
And in a third study, it was reported that out of the 16,000 adults interviewed, the older participants were having sex about 2 to 3 times per month, while younger participants said they were having sex about once a week.

Average Duration Of Intercourse

The Size Of Things

We all know that sex is important in our lives – and also that some of the things which go with sex can be very significant to men and women.

So for instance, men are concerned about penis size and the duration of intercourse, and women tend to focus on the presence or absence of orgasm and the emotional connection with their partner.

And one thing that interests everybody, perhaps for different reasons, is the perennial question “how long does a real man last in bed?”

Well, How Long?

man with muscualr physique in underwear
How long do you need to maintain sex to be a success in bed?

You might be thinking, if sex lasts for two or three minutes for you, that you’re  just not good enough in bed, that you don’t last long enough, and that if only you could go on for longer, you’d be able to satisfy your partner in every way.

Think again!

It turns out, according to Dr Harry Fisch, that the average duration of intercourse is 7.3 minutes… wow! So long! But don’t get alarmed. He also discovered that in almost half of the times that men and women make love, the man ejaculates within two minutes.

So that means there must be a very few men who are making love for extremely long periods of time – and you have to think these guys have delayed ejaculation (about which, if you’re interested, you can read more here).

heterosexual couple in bed making love
The duration of intercourse is vitally important to men and women alike.

First and foremost I’d like you to put your own view of your own performance in bed into context.

If you’re lasting 2 minutes you’re doing OK – at least as compared to all the other men in the world! If you’re lasting 3 minutes you’re doing better than most of them.

And if you lasting between 7 and 10 minutes then you’re a genius lover, because you are making love for what women regard as the ideal duration of intercourse: 7 to 10 minutes.

Now I know that when you read that the ideal duration of intercourse from a woman’s point of view is 7 to 10 minutes, you’re probably going to want to be one of those happy band of brothers who can make love for up to 10 minutes.

But statistics suggest that very few men can do that, and you’re much more likely to be somewhere around the average lover mark, with a staying power of 2 to 3 minutes in intercourse.

The question therefore, rather obviously, is “how can you extend the duration of intercourse?”

That’s exactly what this website is all about, but first of all let’s look at some of the background to this finding by Dr Fisch. 

It’s not exactly news that men don’t last very long during intercourse.

As long ago as Dr Alfred Kinsey working in the 1950s, researchers demonstrated that the majority of men came within two minutes or less.

And for a long time that’s been one part of the definition of rapid or premature ejaculation.

And There’s More!

Whoops! Hold the press… News just in reveals that actually the average time of intercourse is not 7.3 minutes at all, it’s 5.4 minutes – a much more believable figure.

This comes from Dr. Brendan Zietsch, a psychologist from the University of Queensland, who asked couples to measure the time between penetration and male ejaculation using a stopwatch.

premature ejaculation
What’s a “short” time between ejaculation and orgasm?

It’s about as good a method of measuring the duration of intercourse as you can get, and although it’s not very romantic, this is regarded as a reliable way of measuring the duration of intercourse itself.

So we have a discrepancy between the average time of 5.4 minutes and the ideal time in women’s minds of 7 to 10 minutes.

The question still remains, though: if you don’t match up to the average in terms of your endurance and staying power in bed, how can you manage to last longer?

One interesting study was conducted in Sweden on 152 heterosexual couples. It turned out that while women thought men wanted very brief foreplay and intercourse, the truth was that men really wanted intercourse and foreplay to last just as long as women did. (Mind you, this was Sweden, so it might not be applicable to everywhere else in the world.)

Dr. Antonio Pastore of the Sapienza University of Rome decided to do something about this: he worked with a group of 40 men between the ages of 1946 who came far too quickly for their liking (within 1 minute overall, and with an average duration of 33 seconds), and who’d been having no success in overcoming their difficulties in extending the duration of intercourse.

For a 12 week period, these unfortunate men were given exercises to strengthen their pelvic floor muscles. To start with the group came within 32 seconds on average – after 12 weeks of pelvic floor exercises, the average duration was 2 minutes 26 seconds.

Now that isn’t a massive increase, and as we’ve seen above it’s still far less than the average duration of intercourse among all couples, but nonetheless, if you are one of these unfortunate men sure it would seem like a massive improvement in intercourse duration, and you’d most likely feel very proud of the increase in your staying power.

Pelvic Floor Exercises

Well, you can read all about the pelvic floor exercises here – don’t be fooled by the fact that this leaflet talks about bladder and bowel control. If you read on, you’ll see that strong pelvic floor muscles can also prevent premature ejaculation. Hurrah!

Basically there are two kinds of exercises: slow twitch and fast twitch. You do the slow twitch first and then the fast twitch each time you do the exercises.

To perform the slow twitch exercises:
1. Close and draw up the muscles around your back passage, as if you are trying to stop passing
wind. Make sure that you do not contract (tighten) your buttock muscles while you do this.
2. Now close and draw up the muscles around your urethra, as though you are trying to stop
the flow of urine.
3. Try not to hold your breath, breathe normally. Pull upwards and count how long you can
hold the squeeze. If you can hold for a count of 10, then relax for a count of 10.
4. Repeat this until you feel tired.
5. Over time you should be able to increase the length of time you can hold for.

To perform the fast twitch exercises:
1. Pull up the pelvic floor muscles as before.
2. Hold for one second and then relax.
3. Repeat until your muscles feel tired.

Note that’s only the brief explanation of how you do it – it’s well worth looking at the leaflet to read about the other issues you need to know about to make this an effective way of extending your staying power!

Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation is an interesting male sexual dysfunction which goes against everything that we expect from men making love to women – in fact it’s about a delay in the time between penetration and ejaculation during intercourse which is beyond the man’s control.

Now many men would aspire greatly to having complete control of their ejaculation during intercourse, but very few do.

Estimates of men with premature ejaculation range from around 15% to around 75%, but in general, it’s fair to say that if a man ejaculates within two minutes of penetration, he is probably on the faster side of normal.

However men with delayed ejaculation find that they cannot ejaculate at all, or only after an extremely prolonged period of thrusting during intercourse.

There are many disadvantages to this despite the fact that it might at first sight seem to be a desirable condition.

To start with, the woman generally becomes extremely sore during intercourse due to the prolonged thrusting and loss of natural lubrication. It’s also true that the man may develop sore penis for similar reasons.

And delayed ejaculation represents not a man’s superb control of ejaculation, but some dysfunction which is about the man not receiving enough stimulation to bring him to a point of arousal sufficiently high for him to reach the point of no return, or as it is better known, the point of ejaculatory inevitability.

Now you might think that this sounds like a very desirable condition, but believe me, it generally produces friction and frustration in an extreme form between the members of a couple!

Most women faced with a man who is experiencing delayed ejaculation will not want prolonged intercourse in the hope that he might finally manage to get sufficiently aroused to ejaculate. Instead, in general they get very bored with intercourse, and the whole thing becomes an absolute turnoff.

One of the reasons for this is that it’s not an act of love, but an active sexual mechanism – a man thrusting in and out of the vagina in an attempt to ejaculate bears little relationship to a loving relationship where the culmination of the sex act is the natural ejaculation and release of the man’s semen.

So what can be done about this? And also, why does it happen in the first place?

Well, one of the reasons it happens is because men learned to masturbate using a harsh and fast technique when they were in their adolescence.

It’s fair to say that many men masturbate in this way in adulthood too, because that’s the way they conditioned themselves to ejaculate – with fast hard strokes of the hand around the penis, producing a greater amount of friction than the penis can ever be subject to in a vagina (or indeed during oral sex).

Now it is possible for men to recondition their penis so that it responds to much lesser levels of stimulation, but it takes time and effort.

Because men have a naturally high sex drive, the outcome for most men who are aspiring to ejaculate normally is to start by avoiding masturbation for a few days in the hope that their increasing level of sexual tension will lead them to an easier ejaculation.

But what generally seems to happen is that the man’s sexual desire for ejaculation and orgasm is so great that  a after a few days he can’t resist bringing himself off in the normal way (i.e. hard and fast).

You can imagine this is not a good strategy for re-conditioning the body to reach ejaculation and orgasm with less stimulation.

So in general, the recommended treatment will involve some kind of increase in the level of stimulation that a man receives during intercourse.

Men who have difficulties reaching the point ejaculation, or trouble ejaculating in any setting, find that one way to overcome delayed ejaculation is to increase sexual stimulation by using hard-core fantasy.

Another option is to use physical triggers such as nipple stimulation or anal stimulation, perhaps even prostate stimulation using a vibrator inserted into the anus. This way their level of arousal is stimulated to be higher, and their chance of orgasm is proportionately greater.

Even so, having said this, there’s no question that delayed ejaculation is one of the most troublesome male sexual dysfunctions – perhaps just as troublesome as erectile dysfunction.

In the end when a man can’t ejaculate during sex, the whole basis of the sexual relationship between a man and his partner is disrupted.

The woman, as I’ve already, said may find that sex becomes boring and tedious and simply lose her interest in it, which may in turn lead to a diagnosis for her of something like hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

The man, meanwhile, may find that because of the the difficulty he has ejaculating during intercourse, his interest in sex wanes, and he therefore not only feels less able to engage in intercourse but less desirous of doing so. This is a problem that can lead to erectile dysfunction.

Ultimate the cure for any condition that involves sexual dysfunction of this magnitude must be to examine the relationship between the man and his partner. You can find some advice on how to do that on the internet. Discover the technique here and never experience delayed ejaculation again.

If the man is not reaching the level of arousal necessary for ejaculation, one has to wonder whether or not he’s genuinely attracted to women, in other words he might be covertly homosexual, or whether he has a complex of neurological psychological and emotional issues which mean that he can’t respond to women sexually.

The answer is that it’s often a combination of these things, so examining the relationship in which a couple find themselves can be extremely helpful in finding a route forward to a cure.

This doesn’t mean, I might add, that you need to engage in deep psychotherapy – counseling alone can increase the level of intimacy that a man feels towards his partner and be equally effective.

However, having said all that, there’s no doubt that in many cases, there’s a serious psychological complex deep in the man’s unconscious which is responsible for delayed ejaculation, and he may need help to overcome it and be able to ejaculate normally during intercourse.

As it happens, there is an online treatment program available which has been written by the authors of this website and is a great help for all men who have delayed ejaculation. You can find it here – I hope it helps!

Falling in Love Again

The powerful experience of falling in love is something that each and every one of us wants to do during our lives – unless of course we are so damaged that we can’t find any human relationship possible.

A friend said to me, years ago, something to the effect that if we’re not in a relationship we’re all looking for one, and if we are in a relationship we’re all looking to make it better.

At the time I didn’t really understand this, because I think at the time I was in a place of great difficulty in establishing relationships, but over the years I’ve come to see what he said is true.

The essence of a good relationship is being able to empathise and connect with your partner in a way that makes them open up to you so there is an experience of shared intimacy.

That shared intimacy is undoubtedly a development of the intimacy that develops (automatically) between child and mother (and father) when the baby is born. Indeed, this is the primal model for all our later relationships, and it’s the primal model for falling in love which we take through life. Let me explain.

When a baby is born, she or he is entirely dependent on mother for food, for well-being, and indeed for its very survival, so the baby makes every effort to make the mother bond with it, to make the mother fall in love with it.

It does this by smiling, by gurgling, by enjoying sensual touch, and by mirroring its mother’s (and of course its father’s) emotions. There’s a program in the human brain which enables this behaviour of lovers – deeply looking into each other’s eyes and enjoying sensual sharing enables a baby to fall in love with its mother – and vice versa.

Early boding with parents sets the tone for love later in life
Early boding with parents sets the tone for love later in life

dreamstime_m_47032769

When a baby falls in love with its mother, its mother falls in love with the baby, and the baby’s survival is assured. But sadly, we all know there are many babies born into the world which are not wanted – their experience after birth is negative – they don’t bond with their mother, their mother doesn’t bond with them, and their model of intimacy is forever affected thereafter.

In fact, if a baby has not bonded with its mother satisfactorily, it will pick up the message that it’s not lovable, or that it’s incapable of loving, and will carry that message through the rest of its life into adulthood.

As you may well imagine, a baby in this position is going to experience great difficulty in forming intimate relationships as an adult.

Indeed, she or he may avoid the pain of adult relationships because the experience it had as a child was so painful.

There’s a deep wound to what we call the lover archetype, the part of the individual that holds the loving and sexual energy so necessary for connection with another human being.

In the situation where somebody has a deeper or lesser wound to the lover archetype, their ability to form a relationship with another adult, at least a relationship of strength and equality, will be impacted.

There are ways to overcome this of course in adulthood and there are many therapists and therapies available to deal with these problems.

The point I’m making is not so much that you can overcome these difficulties, as to indicate the ways in which these difficulties may affect your desire to have a relationship in the first place.

You see, if you’re experiencing a desperate need to fall in love, or a desperate need to have someone fall in love with you, then it’s likely that you have some kind of emotional wound or difficulty in your lover, and it will impact the way in which you express your desire to be loved.

And of course there are plenty of good ways to love, all of which can express your intimate whole adult self openly and honestly to a relationship or sexual partner.

coital alignment technique provides mutual pleasure
Mutual sexual pleasure is vital in a relationship

One good way of recovering your natural innate human ability to love, is simply being in a loving relationship that is open and honest, where each partner is working towards the benefit and growth of the other, as well as their own growth and individuation.

And there are other aspects to any human relationship.

Sexuality is a massively important aspect of sexual and emotional relationships between adult human. And it’s fair to say that if you want someone to fall in love with you you probably also want to have a sexual relationship with them.

Sidebar – a video diversion about love

You can discover the truth about sexual enjoyment here. Many of us are restricted in our level of sensual and sensuous pleasure, not fully sensing the level of sexual pleasure that we’re entitled to as human beings.

If you want to know how to pleasure a woman, there’s plenty of information here. (If you don’t understand what pleasure a woman means, it means taking her to orgasm – and sure, it’s equally true that a woman can pleasure a man – indeed men look to women for sensual experience because women tend spend more of their time and invest more of their emotional energy in the lover archetype than men do.)

But essentially sexual pleasure is about enjoying not only an intimate sexual relationship, but about constantly striving to enjoy better and better orgasms, so that the pleasure you can gain from your intimate relationship increases naturally as time goes by.

You see, many people don’t make an effort to increase their sexual pleasure, indeed a lot of men don’t make any effort at all to pleasure their female partner, expecting her to provide them with sexual fulfilment while offering none in return.

But the best way of being in a loving relationship is to offer and receive mutual sexual pleasure, and to understand that between the two of you, the potential for human expression of sexuality is almost infinite.

There is also a way of expressing sex that becomes transcendent, taking you into a spiritual realm. We won’t deal with that here, but the point I wish to make is that the level of sexual pleasure which most people experience is far below the potential sexual pleasure that a couple in love are capable of feeling for each other.

To enjoy your full birthright as a human being with sensual pleasure, it’s worthwhile learning those sexual techniques which expand the bounds of possibility beyond what you’ve already learnt in your previous relationships, with your previous partners.

Coital Alignment Technique

The coital alignment technique is a special way of making love, a modified missionary position, which men and women can use to enable the woman to experience a way of making love which leads to orgasm during sex.

Good sex depends on the coital alignment technique
An ideal position for mutual orgasm – but it’s not the coital alignment technique.

One of the advantages of this is that sex becomes more intimate and rewarding for a couple, and they both find that the reward of reaching orgasm greatly enhances their experience of being together both in and out of bed.

As you can imagine, this leads to a mutual exchange of loving feelings, as well as the simple reward and good sense of a shared experience which has resulted in mutual orgasm – perhaps even simultaneous orgasm.

The unfortunate thing is that although there are many resources on the Internet about how to use the coital alignment technique, it’s somehow shrouded in obscurity and mystery when you read the descriptions!

It’s not an easy technique to master because it’s so counter to the way that we naturally learn to make love, and indeed perhaps also to the instincts that we bring to making love (women – to submit; men to dominate, “take” and ejaculate as fast as possible).

In the CAT the male partners, instead of thrusting in and out of their partner, are encouraged to take a sexual position on their partner in which their penis enters her vagina at a more vertical angle, and to move differently: instead of thrusting in and out, to adopt a rocking motion which leads to the movement of the penis up and down inside the woman’s vagina.

coital alignment technique
Coital alignment technique

This may sound counterintuitive, perhaps even a little peculiar, but the object of the exercise is very clear: it’s to make the man’s pubic area, in particular his pubic bone and possibly also the base of his penile shaft, come into contact with the woman’s clitoral area, or more specifically her clitoral head. 

This will bring her to orgasm.

The repeated rocking motion, which has to be adapted so that it’s at a level of intensity which is pleasurable for the woman, can lead to a much longer period of intercourse because the man does not thrust deeply (which tends to make him ejaculate fast); instead it leads to a gradual buildup of pressure on her clitoris at an intensity that can bring her to orgasm much more easily.

Clearly there are many advantages to this. However, some people try the coital alignment technique and then quickly abandon it because they don’t find it easy to use in practice.

But, with persistence and a degree of sophisticated lovemaking, it is true that the coital alignment technique will bring the woman to orgasm during intercourse, lead to simultaneous orgasm, and indeed, take you both to a new experience of sex…..

What this means is that the man and woman can experience a kind transcendental state during sex, which is something very unlike the kind of sex which produces normal orgasm.

It’s a kind of breaking of boundaries, the unification of the two people into one, and a movement into the spiritual dimension of sex which is often talked about, but rarely experienced.

Whether or not you want to reach the spiritual dimension during sex is, of course, a matter of personal choice and taste, because you may be satisfied with the sexual relationship that you have!

However the coital alignment technique can definitely improve the enjoyment of sex for a woman, even if you’re not interested in moving into the spiritual dimension.

By bringing her to orgasm in this way, a man makes sex much more intense and rewarding for a woman, and it follows therefore that she’s going to enjoy sex much more.

And so is he. But the natural place of woman is in the Lover archetype, which is all about feeling, flow, and connection.

For a man who is in a sexual relationship with a woman, to have his partner and lover find enjoying sex as much as much as he is can be a transformative experience; it’s definitely a bonding experience within the relationship, and the mechanics of the coital alignment technique can lead to developments in the relationship which go far beyond physical pleasure.

Love and connection

Love and connection are all about mutual intimacy and sensuality – and in no way can sexual intercourse be said to involve mutual sensuality and connection if the woman is not reaching orgasm on a regular basis.

Indeed, for those relationships where the man is simply taking his pleasure at the expense of the woman, making no effort to ensure she reaches orgasm in return, it’s definitely a major improvement to be able to use the alignment technique, because it offers the pleasure of satisfaction and sexual fulfilment for both partners.

coital alignment technique provides mutual pleasure
Mutual pleasure is everything in sex

Now, you may not be particularly interested in satisfying your partner right now, but the simple fact  is that when men and women make love, there should be a mutuality, a sense of mutual affection and love, a willingness to provide as well as take, a willingness to satisfy, and indeed, an expectation on the woman’s part that she will have an orgasm.

If your relationship is in difficulties, then the coital alignment technique can make it better; if your relationship is working well, the coital alignment technique can make it even better; and, remember also, we are all entitled to achieve as much sexual pleasure as possible.

It is our right to extend our sexual pleasure to limits of our sexual capacity, and to experience what our bodies are capable of…. this is a God-given source of mutual satisfaction.

You can find instructions all over the Internet on how best to use the coital alignment technique, but some of the best have been provided here – this is where you will find clear instructions, together with videos, photographs and demonstrations of the coital alignment technique, together with a video program that will enable you to become an excellent lover and satisfy your partner, hopefully on every occasion you get into bed together!

And if you’re still doubting that the coital alignment technique has any validity for you, just read the comments from these people who tried it!

 

 

Great ideas for better sex

When you’re looking for a way of achieving more fun (which probably means more orgasms!) in your sex life, the best way is to think of your partner’s pleasure first.

So for me, what this means is making sure than my female partner always has an orgasm before I enter her…. what you may not know is that many women (probably all women, in fact) like to enjoy feeling their man inside them after they have had an orgasm.

Sex for women is different to sex for men – once a woman has had an orgasm, she is most likely still going to be ready to enjoy more sexual contact, whereas, as you most likely know, once  man has had an orgasm…. well, that tends to signal the end of sex for the day!

So any man who is concerned with his partner’s pleasure will take the time to ensure that she has an orgasm before he does. and furthermore, if he genuinely looks out for her pleasure, he will be always trying to give her the best orgasm he can… which may include a squirting or ejaculating orgasm.

Now, many women will say that they are not interested in the finer points of squirting (also known as gushing) orgasms, but the truth is that once a woman has experienced this phenomenon, she is likely to find that her continued development means the production of Amrita (or female ejaculate) is a natural step along the road of sexual pleasure.

So men can score highly with their womenfolk by learning how to give a woman a squirting orgasm, and taking her to the highest levels of pleasure before enjoying their own ejaculation during intercourse.

Get a body like this with the Adonis Golden Ratio
Get a body like this with the Adonis Golden Ratio

Now, the question arises – how are you going to do this? To start with, men should always be as fit as possible. It goes without saying, perhaps, that the fitter and healthier you are, the more sex drive you will have, and the more ability you will have to pleasure your partner and to turn her on in the first place. You will find that the Adonis Ratio Diet is a fitness program for men which is more than able to fulfill all those objectives.

Another answer is to take the video training program available from OrgasmArts.com. This is all about men learning how to pleasure a woman effectively. Check out their  female orgasm videos here.

That video will effectively allow you to learn the art of vaginal stimulation so that you can bring a woman to the peak of pleasure – but for full information on the ultimate pleasure that you can give a woman, you need to check out “How to make a woman squirt” – well, what are you waiting for? Check out how to make a woman gush now.

Now, of course some of you men reading this will be thinking, “well, can this really be true?” And I understand your doubts. There’s a tendency on the part of all men to think that vaginal intercourse is just as pleasurable for the woman as it is for the man, but sadly that is not true… many women don’t actually like vaginal intercourse and put up with it only for the sake of the pleasure it brings their men.

Good sex depends on ejaculation control
An ideal position for ejaculation control

So what you can do here is to consistently improve your sexual skills and by doing so, show your partner that you are very interested in her welfare and that you love her. If you want to know more about the reality of squirting or gushing orgasm, you can find out more here. The ultimate answer, however, to each couple’s sexual pleasure, is for communication to be consistent, open and honest. By telling each other what you want and ensuring that the lines of communication remain open, you will ensure that your sex life remains fun filled and happy.

The Venus Factor For Women Offers More Than Dieting Success

One of the most controversial ideas that I have come across recently in considering premature ejaculation, is the idea that a man ejaculates quickly so that he can “escape” from his partner.

Now you may think this is a crazy idea, but I think there is some merit in examining exactly what might be going on when therapists suggest this.

Good sex and great health and fitness go together
Good sex and health go together!

I first came across the idea from a therapist colleague who told me that he had worked with a client who was clearly dissatisfied with his relationship.

Indeed, although the relationship was actually conflictual and quite demeaning of the man, he was totally unable at this stage of his personal development, to leave the relationship and find a better partner for his own needs.

In all previous relationships this man had actually been ejaculating within a reasonable timescale of around 5 to 9 minutes, but within this relationship, he started ejaculating prematurely within 2 minutes.

It seemed as though he might be angry at his partner, but there was more to it than that: he actually admitted in therapy that he found the idea of sex with his partner quite aversive, and indeed possibly unpleasant.

He also conceded that fast ejaculation was one way in which he could conclude the intimacy of sexual relations.

Now when I looked at this idea I thought was a compelling force to it: that men who are disempowered from speaking their mind and asserting themselves with women can only express their feelings in what the Jungian therapists would call “shadow ways“.

And one of these might well be to ejaculate prematurely during intercourse simply get the experience over and done with.

Does she want sex? Are you offering it?
Does she want sex? Do you want sex?

Now, this took me onto another line of reasoning, which was like this: that if a man finds connection with his partner aversive during intercourse, then he may ejaculate prematurely.

And what would cause a man to find his sexual partner unattractive?

Well, regrettably, one of the most common things is a change in the woman’s body, and unfortunately I’m referring to fatness and obesity. There’s no denying that his men are honest about this most of them would add in it that the appearance of their sexual partner is important to them.

We know that appearance is very important to women themselves, because actually that is a fundamental way in which sexual attraction between men and women is established. (Men, as has been said very often are “visual” creatures.)

I also know from my work with men that a lot of men are able to overcome revulsion or distaste for their partners’ bodies by detaching themselves from that part of their awareness.

My theory is therefore that men in many instances are likely to hide their feelings of this taste, revulsion or even disgust while they’re having sex with an obese partner, but the premature ejaculation may be one way in which they can terminate the coitus quickly.

All I can offer as a suggestion to help in this situation is an effective weight loss program for women, which helps women to lose weight fast, and is perhaps one of the most effective ways to women to lose weight.

Video: Obesity and Sexual Health

It’s called The Venus Factor, and the reason it’s so effective is that it works on sound physiological principles, all of which are well proven by scientific research.

To be more specific, the way that it works is to increase the activity of leptin in a woman’s body, so that her fat burning hormone is actually more active and responsible for greater weight loss than it would normally be. I recommend this program as it has proved very satisfactory and successful for many of my associates, friends, and colleagues.

I want to emphasize that The Venus Factor has more than the obvious advantages for women who want to lose weight —  in specific terms, the truth of the matter is that men find women who are slim and toned more attractive than women who are overweight or obese.

Now I’m not for a moment suggesting that women should regard men’s as a reason for losing weight or altering their body image.

However the fact of the matter is this: women like to be attractive to men, and their self-image to a large extent depends on being so — therefore if you are overweight or obese, you might choose consciously to lose weight and look good so that all manner of improvements can take place in your life, including those around sexual attractiveness.

Here’s a video from a woman who lost weight and you can see the difference between before and after:

I have very little doubt that you will agree with me that there is considerable difference between the two, and although it may be that some men find the woman more attractive at 190 pounds, in my opinion she’s far more attractive at 148 pounds.

Now I believe the subject of whether or not dieting to make yourself attractive to men is a personal decision, so here I’m simply majoring on the details of the Venus Factor Diet for women (click here to see it).

However – if you happen to be interested in the effect of being overweight on a couple’s sex life, read this….from this original source.

A Pattern Emerges

Clearly, there are obese people who are happy, fulfilled and feel deeply connected in their relationships — emotionally and sexually. But in the interviews done for this story with marriage therapists, sexual health doctors and weight researchers, a pattern emerges: Obese people — especially those trying to lose weight — are more dissatisfied with their sexual lives, and obese women seem to suffer the most.

“Instead of enjoying their sexual intimacy, they’re worried about the size of their stomach or, ‘Oh my god, he’s going to touch my stomach. What’s he going to think about my stomach?’ ” says Ronnie Kolotkin, a psychologist at Duke University Medical Center who designed a widely used survey that measures how obesity affects quality of life.

Men with fat bellies suffer far more erectile dysfunction, low sex drive and premature ejaculation than other men. Original source here.

The results

After adjustment for potential confounding factors (age, education level, chronic disease and limitation of daily activity), obese women were 30% less likely than normal weight women to report a sexual partner in the past 12 months

Obese men were 70% less likely to have had more than one sexual partner in the same period and were two and half times more likely to experience erectile dysfunction.

Sexual dysfunction was not associated with BMI among women. However, obese women under 30 were less likely to seek contraceptive advice or use oral contraceptives. They were also more likely to report an unintended pregnancy. Obese men under 30 were far more likely to have had a sexually transmitted infection.

Results also show a significant trend towards decreasing sexual desire with increasing BMI.

Obese women were also five times as likely to have met their partner on the Internet, more likely to have an obese partner, and less likely to view sex as important for personal life balance. The authors suggest that social pressure, low self-esteem and concerns about body image may help explain these findings.

So Will You Lose Weight Fast?

Now, challenging though dieting may be, there’s very little doubt that it’s actually very good for one’s health, but it’s actually proven to lower cholesterol, and that in particular sexual desire, sexual activity, and sexual “performance” all improve dramatically when you are fit and healthy and when you are at your normal correct weight.

It’s been demonstrated very clearly that even losing 5-10 pounds can make people feel much healthier.

In fact, the benefits of dieting have been well documented in numerous studies — losing weight makes you feel healthier and is healthier. And you’re actually going to prolong your life and avoid premature death from cardiovascular problems, for example.

Other issues that can arise with overweight people are insulin insensitivity, and sexual problems that we’ve already mentioned, circulatory problems,and so on and so forth. Read more about healthy eating here.

Now of course the Venus Factor is no “cure all”, and it isn’t a solution to every single problem that you may experience when trying to lose weight, but it’s certainly a high quality program written with good intentions and based very firmly in the scientific methodology.

It’s based on the principle of leptin resistance, which is a problem for women who want to lose weight — the female body is often very insensitive to the hormone leptin which has been dubbed the “fat burning” hormone since it’s responsible for the deposition and release of fat from the fat stores in the body.

It’s actually not possible to supplement leptin by administering it as a drug, so the only way to get leptin working more efficiently is to increase the body’s sensitivity to it — and that can be done by certain dietary protocols and nutritional supplementation.

That’s the basis, in fact, of the Venus Factor  – it works to increase the sensitivity of the body to leptin so that the hormone can actually work on the fat stores and release them into the bloodstream, thereby aiding the loss of weight…

…but the bad news might be that it isn’t quite as simple as that, because you do need to eat fewer calories, and you probably also need to take an exercise program.

However having said all of that, what makes the Venus Factor different to other programs that are available on the market is the fact that it’s designed on an individual basis for its customers: you feed in a few simple information points about your weight, height, body mass index and so forth, and out of the software you get a personalized nutrition and exercise program.

Now as if this wasn’t good enough, you also get the opportunity to amend the foods that being prescribed for you — yes, that’s correct! You get complete information on every meal and the calorie content of it, for the entire 12 weeks of the Venus Factor program  — so that you can enjoy the foods that you actually prefer to eat.

You see, this isn’t some kind of restrictive diet whereby you have to starve yourself all the only certain foods! Truth of the matter is, you can eat a good diet, you can avoid hunger pangs, you don’t have to exercise in prescribed and punishing regime, and you do have the support of other like-minded individuals in the Venus Factor community…

…it’s hard to imagine in fact a better diet plan for women, because it covers not only physical welfare, but also spiritual, emotional, and practical matters — in terms of support, I haven’t seen a better organization than the members’ community, where people get together to exchange essential information on dieting and slimming.

It’s also possible to find buddies in your local area who can come and exercise with you in the local gym — although it needs to be said at this point that you can use all the exercises at home instead of going to the gym if you prefer.

Venus Factor dieting leads to better sex Venus Index diet for women

They come on a downloadable program, so you can print them out and take them to the gym, or you can put them on your mobile phone as an app, and use them from the screen of your phone — but once again, in the same way you get as an individualized nutritional program, you get every single exercise the entire program laid out for you in advance of taking this diet regime.

It’s a serious diet plan for serious dieters, but on the other hand it doesn’t need to be hard work — it can actually be fun! And while you might find it hard to believe at the moment, if you actually look at the program,  you will find that there are lots of opportunities to doing the hard work of dieting in a different, perhaps even a pleasant — and dare I say “easy” — way.

Love. sex and the whole damn’ thing!

The PC Muscle 

When a man knows the level of arousal in his body, and can feel the beginning of the fluttering of the muscles of the pelvis as they prepare for ejaculation and orgasm, he is in a better place to be able to control premature ejaculation.

PC muscle control is key to ejaculation control
PC muscle control is key to ejaculation control

The important stage, therefore, of any training program would go something like this: as his arousal increases, and he senses the contraction of the muscles of the pelvis becoming stronger, he can slow down his arousal with short lived, voluntary contractions of the pubococcygeal muscle. You can also read about this in ejaculation by command, a system for men to get complete control in bed.

This will inhibit the increase in his arousal.

Good sex depends on ejaculation control

Good sex depends on ejaculation control

Now, you may well have seen that a number of ejaculation control programs which suggest that it’s possible to control ejaculation by strengthening the pubococcygeal muscle and then using it to clamp down as the process of ejaculation commences.

I’ve researched the matter thoroughly and I can assure you that there is absolutely no possibility of controlling ejaculation by clamping down PC muscle.

For one thing, it doesn’t actually stop the process of ejaculation: if it works at all, it only works to stop the semen being ejected from the end of the penis.

What this means is that while contracting the PC muscle hard, you lose the pleasure of orgasm, you don’t control your ejaculation, and you also lose your erection.

However the interesting thing is that there is a way to use the pubococcygeal muscle as a means of ejaculation control when you’re learning to overcome premature ejaculation.

What you should actually be doing is contracting the muscle briefly at regular intervals in the run-up to “the point of no return”.

That is to say, as you become more aroused, you can contract the pubococcygeal muscle voluntarily, and as you do so, inhale. Then, holding the muscle, expel the air that you’ve inhaled in short sharp, explosive gasps.

This combination of physical muscle contraction and breathing will significantly reduce your arousal, interrupting the increase in your arousal and halting your headlong dash towards the point of no return.

It’s not entirely clear why this should be, although contracting the muscle in this way as you become more aroused will always cause a significant or noticeable decrease in the strength of your erection, and my assumption is that as your erection diminishes, the stimulation that your penis received diminishes, and so therefore does your arousal as well.

Orgasmic ability and good health are connected
Orgasmic ability and good health are connected

This is actually a well-known Tantric technique for ejaculation control, and well worth practicing at home if you want to find a way of controlling ejaculation during sex with your partner. Read about getting orgasm by command here – a radial idea if ever there were one!

Admittedly, this requires patience and tolerance and understanding on your partner’s part as well, so it’s worth while researching this and explaining what you’re going to do with her before you actually commence!

But what about other things can you do during intercourse to control rapid ejaculation?

Well, the classic advice is to find a sexual position in which your penis receives less stimulation, so you have a chance of lasting longer before you ejaculate.

Much has been written on the subject, and the various merits of different sexual positions been debated extensively in Internet forums and elsewhere.

What I can tell you with great certainty, however, is that whatever sex position you find most arousing will be the one that is least enabling of ejaculation control.

The sex positions that you find least arousing, either psychologically or physically — that is to say, the ones which place less pressure on your penis, and therefore provide less neural stimulation — are the ones that will help you last longer.

So in this category, we’re probably going to assume that rear entry sex is a no-no for most men who are learning to control premature ejaculation, simply because it is so arousing.

The same might also be true of the man on top sex position, which has the capacity to arouse and excite in a way that other positions do not.

This is because the muscular tension that you have to exert to keep your weight off the woman as you position yourself on top of her increases the amount of tension in your body.

Since orgasm is actually primarily the release of tension which has built up in the body, you can see that any sex position which increases bodily tension is likely to shorten the time between penetration and ejaculation.

premature ejaculation
What’s a “short” time between ejaculation and orgasm?

Which just leaves – more or less  – sitting sex positions and the side-by-side sex position, The power of these is actually borne out by the reports that men have given me about how effective they can be in learning ejaculation control.

I strongly recommend that you use the side-by-side sex position if you wish to gain greater ejaculatory control because what you will find, when you practice, is that you can start of the man on top position and then turn onto your sides, in this way giving the woman plenty of pleasure and decreasing the s amount of pressure on your penis significantly.

So interestingly enough, this is a position which will place less pressure on your penis and so allow you to last longer, while not depriving woman of much pleasure. It’s ideal for ejaculation control because it allows you to lie still, talk to each other, caress all the erotic parts of each of other’s body….

Good sex depends on ejaculation control
An ideal position for ejaculation control

… and, in particular, for a man with premature ejaculation, lying still in this way will prove to be a very effective means of ejaculation control.

The rationale is that he’s not receiving much stimulation to his penis, and so therefore he is much less likely to ejaculate. Thrusting is easy to control, but cannot be particularly deep in this position, which gives a man another helpful way to ensure that he doesn’t come too soon.

All in all this is an excellent lovemaking position for ejaculation control.

So to sum up, I’d like to list the combination of techniques that give a man ejaculation control to a very high degree: they are

  • masturbation training to become familiar with sensations of the body before the point of no return and during the run-up to ejaculation
  •  vaginal acclimatization
  •  choosing the correct sex position
  • using muscular control of the pubococcygeal muscle.

By combining all these techniques in various ways, you are likely to be able to establish complete control of your ejaculation within only a few weeks.

Get fit, lose weight, eat the right food — and be a sexual success!

You might think that title is a bit of a joke, but I can assure you it’s deadly serious.

There is plenty of evidence to confirm the fact that men who eat a good diet and maintain a high level of fitness continue to be sexually active for far longer than men who allow themselves to become overweight, unfit, and eat loads of junk food.

As we age sex declines in quality
As we age sex declines in quality

Now, naturally as a man ages, his sex drive decreases, so there is a vicious circle of lowering testosterone, lower motivation to have sex, and a compensatory desire for comfort eating which can extend to the consumption of large quantities of fat and sugar.

The fact that this process is almost inevitable if you don’t intervene to do something different, behoves us all to take care of ourselves as we grow older, and to ensure that we use every possible way of maintaining our health and fitness.

You see, good sex does not come naturally at any age.

Good sex and good health are connected
Good sex and good health are connected

During our youth, the high levels of testosterone that flow around our bodies make us susceptible to premature ejaculation.

But apart from this, the fact that men are still largely expected to lead during sex, to initiate, often to show the woman how to enjoy sex, and frequently also to give her an orgasm, but a great deal of emotional pressure on men.

And that’s of any age! But then as we grow older, stress and other forms of life pressures (illness, death, financial problems) make it harder to sustain an erection, can increase anxiety and stress, and sometimes make us unwilling to engage in sex at all.

Does she want sex? Are you offering it?
Does she want sex? Are you offering it?

Then for some men there are the problems of delayed ejaculation, which is a pernicious condition that means it may be difficult to conceive a child.

Sex goes on for ages without the satisfaction of ejaculation, and men and women are emotionally estranged because they don’t understand the emotional origins of this condition.

Now in addition to all of that, there’s the problem of poor diet, low exercise levels, and an overweight body. Sex is an activity that requires a lot of us — both spiritually, physically, emotionally and in every other way.

Without a high level of fitness, without a good diet, and without circulatory and physiological fitness, a man will find it harder to sustain an erection, harder to enjoy sex, harder to satisfy a woman, and harder to feel emotionally fulfilled by the act of intercourse.

In other words, if ever there were an argument to making sure that your fitness levels are maintained as you grow older, then sex is it.

It’s not even a matter of lasting longer in bed, or delaying premature ejaculation – it’s simply a pragmatic, practical decision.

And the decision is that to continue to enjoy sex, you choose to maintain high fitness levels by appropriate exercise, you decide to maintain good weight levels by dieting, and you extend your life by making good nutritional choices. The Adonis Golden ratio is a fitness and weight loss program for men that might help here.

Good sex and great health and fitness go together
Good sex and health go together!

And of course all of that sounds completely overwhelming! Yet there is one simple way in which you can achieve all of these objectives in one fell swoop — and that is by buying the Adonis golden ratio, and following its principles of nutrition and exercise.

You see, the Adonis golden ratio has been worked out by two experts in sports science, exercise physiology, nutritional biology and weight loss to fit the male physiology perfectly.

And beyond that, it’s designed to your individual requirements, to ensure that you personally have exactly the program that you need to be your optimum weight, achieve high fitness, and maximum sexual fitness as well!

Clearly the any man, of any age, these are not insignificant advantages, and it bodes well for your enjoyment of life and your enjoyment of sex if you decide to make the conscious choice to engage in the exercise regimes of the Adonis golden ratio program which will give you rapid weight loss, and make dieting easy.

Let’s face it, all of us need help from time to time and there are a few programs on the market which are as helpful from men is the Adonis golden ratio.

Tailored to the male physiology, it’s a program that allows all men to lose weight rapidly, and ensures that their sexual fitness, and the chance they have of overcoming premature ejaculation, is as high as possible.

Make no mistake about it, premature ejaculation and lasting longer in bed are two aspects of male sexual physiology which are intimately connected to your overall level of fitness, self-confidence, and self-respect.

Anything that you can do to increase your self-confidence and in particular your sexual self-confidence, will help you last longer in bed!

The coital alignment technique

I’m often asked in my role as a sex counselor, “what is the best sex position?” 

Well, there’s no simple answer this question because what a couple find enjoyable depends on the orientation of the erect penis in the vagina, and also the relative size of the male and female genitals.

This means that one couple will find the physical pleasure of, say, man on top to be highly preferable to the physical pleasure of rear entry, while another couple may experience exactly the reverse.

No choice is right or wrong, it just depends on what suits a couple most.

Taken with the psychological and emotional pleasures of different sex positions, you can see that the opportunity for variation in favourite positions between couples is considerable.

However, one thing that almost all couples complain about is the fact that it’s rather difficult for the woman to reach orgasm during intercourse.

This is a perennial source of difficulty and friction for couples, where the woman expects to be able to get sexual pleasure, quite reasonably, from the activities of her man, but he is only interested in thrusting to ejaculation during intercourse.

One solution, of course, is for a man to spend a lot more time on foreplay, but the truth is, that very often men are reluctant to do this, even though there are many advantages to doing so: not least the fact that an aroused woman enjoys lovemaking, and she’s much more into the experience, than a woman who’s not been aroused.

So if the man is going to go rapidly to intercourse (i.e. thrusting) then he clearly has a responsibility to ensure that it’s prolonged for the maximum duration possible, so as to ensure that woman can get an orgasm and full sexual pleasure.

In addition he also has a responsibility to try and ensure that she has an orgasm. The one method that might allow couples to enjoy orgasm during intercourse is the coital alignment technique, a sexual technique which is a modification of the standard missionary position. Click here to read all about it.

The coital alignment technique specifically requires the man and woman to adopt a different orientation during lovemaking.

To start with, the man enters as he would during standard missionary sex, and then shifts his body upwards, so that the angle of his penis is bent backwards, and that his pelvic bone, or pubic bone more specifically, is located in the general area of his partner’s clitoris.

Then, instead of thrusting backwards and forwards, a couple adopt a rocking motion which is more of an up-and-down motion of their pelvises.

If done correctly, the coital alignment technique will have the effect of allowing the man’s pubic bone to stimulate the whole clitoral area of the woman, resulting in a level of stimulation that may well produce an orgasm if the man does not ejaculate too soon.

Now I know this is only one of the sex positions available to many couples, but it’s one of the best sex positions for couple who want enjoy female orgasm and maybe simultaneous orgasm during sexual intercourse.

coital alignment technique

Do Health Conditions Affect Your Sex Life?

I had an email from a woman yesterday asking if her husband’s gout could be affecting his sexual pleasure, and suggesting that  I should send her a selection of remedies!

Well, this is not so unusual as you might think. I have had requests from men and women asking whether conditions as diverse as prostate enlargement, requiring prostate health supplements, and hiatal hernia might possibly affect people’s ability to enjoy sexual intercourse.

Certainly prostate enlargement, otherwise known as benign prostatic hyperplasia or BPH, can affect one’s sex life.

The most likely cause of this is the administration of medication such as Flomax (Tamsulosin hydrochloride) which interferes with the muscles of the prostate gland and is likely to inhibit ejaculation.

However, it is also possible medication administered the mood problems such as anxiety and depression to have an impact on male sexual function.

One of the most common illustrations of this is the effect of SSRIs or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors on male ejaculatory function.

This effect was first noticed when men being given SSRIs such as Dapoxetine for depression reported that they had trouble ejaculating during intercourse, or that sometimes they could not ejaculate at all.

Since then a considerable amount of work has been put into developing an SSRI drug which can be administered for premature ejaculation.

Conversely, there are currently no medications of any kind which can be given to a man who is experiencing delayed ejaculation and wishes to ejaculate normally during sexual intercourse.

This type of ejaculatory dysfunction can only be addressed by an appropriate combination of psychotherapy and bodywork.

The significance of premature ejaculation is male sexual dysfunction cannot be overestimated. Approximately 30 to 50% of men ejaculate uncontrollably during sexual intercourse, an emotional and relationship problems which this causes could be considerable.

Indeed, research has demonstrated that men with premature ejaculation frequently have a lower self-esteem and a lower the level of sexual self-confidence than men who are able to exert greater control over their ejaculatory function.

The critical factors in learning to ejaculate with a greater degree of control appear to be (1) clear intention on the part of the man to make love last longer (2) the determination to apply series of self-help exercises which enable him to become more aware of when he’s going to ejaculate (3) the ability to delay gratification of orgasm & ejaculation so the partner may be satisfied before the man reaches orgasm (4) a willingness to engage in a serious bodily training exercises with the help of the man’s partner and finally (5) the determination to keep revisiting these techniques after the initial learning period is over.

This video illustrates some of the more important points about premature ejaculation How to control premature ejaculation and also explains a number of

interesting issues, in particular the definition of premature ejaculation, which has been subject to much debate in recent years.

This discussion centres on the issue of whether premature refers to an inability to control ejaculation or a specific, defined period of time within which the man ejaculates during lovemaking.

Another highly relevant piece of information in some people’s minds at least, is that of whether or not there is relationship distress or a high level of stress on the part of the man, caused by his failure to control his ejaculatory reflex.

For some therapists, it’s absolutely essential that premature ejaculation is defined in a way that includes an element to recognise distress caused by the condition: without such distress, in these therapists’ eyes, there is no dysfunction.

Whether or not you consider this to be a reasonable point of view depends entirely on your view of premature ejaculation.

Many people would say that the fact that a great number of men and women believe, even now, in these supposedly enlightened days, it is necessary for a man to bring a woman to orgasm through sexual intercourse, even though the majority of women can’t possibly reach orgasm during intercourse from the man’s thrusting alone, there are far more important issue was the ability of men to bring a woman to orgasm, period!

Certainly there are many points of view which one could take on this,but overall it’s important to understand that at the end of the day the thing that matters most is a couples individual sexual satisfaction and pleasure.

Whether this is achieved by the man bringing woman to orgasm during foreplay, using oral sex and manual pleasuring techniques, or whether it is achieved by the man thrusting into the woman’s vagina during intercourse, is hardly the most important issue.

What’s actually much more important is the ability of a woman a man to make their sexual requirements known to each other, and to obtain sexual pleasure in the most gratifying and pleasurable way that matches their individual sexual needs, and leaves them feeling that they have enjoyed each other’s company in a way that will not only reinforced the pair bond of couple, but will enhance the quality of their relationship outside the bedroom.

Jason Julius Orgasm Arts

Jason Julius is a sex educator who has developed a wide following on the Internet with his website orgasmarts.com. Find out about his program for easy female orgasm by clicking on the link in the right hand column. >>>>>

His main idea is to educate men who wish to know how to bring women to orgasm easily without any of the difficulty traditionally associated with female sexual pleasure.

What this means in practice is an easy and simple system of female stimulation using both clitoral and G spot sensitivity to bring a woman to orgasm without any difficulty or delay.

Jason explains in his system exactly how it is possible for a man to identify when a woman is ready for vaginal and clitoral stimulation, and when she’s ready for penetration to allow her G spot to be stimulated.

Using models, Jason adeptly and adroitly offers an illustrated guide to men who wish to know how to stimulate women successfully during sexual intercourse or foreplay, so they can enjoy the pleasure of an orgasm every time a couple make love.

oa-banner2Reviews of Jason Julius’s program “Orgasm Arts” are universally favourable, and indicated degree of acceptance and understanding by mail readers which has brought him a new level of fame and recognition as one of the internet’s most accessible sexual educators.

The truth is, of course, that few if any of the people who set themselves up on the Internet as sex educators have any real qualifications, no matter how valuable their knowledge may be, and this tends to reduce their credibility.

Jason is different in this regard he speaks from a humble position of willingness to provide information to men who sexual education may be lacking in certain areas. As they say, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and nowhere is this more true than in experimentation with sexual techniques.

You may, by downloading and using Jason Julius’s program, find out more about female sexual sensitivity and how to pleasure a woman than you would in many years of experimentation with in your relationship.

org2The reason for this is that within most relationships, communication is often limited, especially around intimate matters like sexual pleasure. By establishing a series of techniques to provide a man with more confidence about the arts orgasm, and how to establish a female orgasm blueprint before sex begins, it’s possible for a couple to reach a state of intimacy which then allows them to develop closer and more connected communication.

While we are traditionally led to believe that sexual intimacy comes from good communication, the reality is that sexual intimacy can promote good communication, simply because people will feel more connected once they’re in a couple where sexual pleasure is well established.

So what does this amount to? First of all, Jason Julius explains the techniques necessary to pleasure a woman using sexual stimulation of the G spot, after which he goes into a series of modules in his program all of which are designed to establish a blueprint for the female orgasm.

org11partNow if you think that it’s difficult for a woman to reach orgasm during intercourse, think again! All you have to know is what to do in different circumstances!

Check out the link in the column to the right for the complete information!

Have a look at the contents listed below and consider whether knowing all of this information would help you to establish greater confidence with women, and a greater likelihood of being able to bring them to orgasm during sexual intercourse!

All this information is covered by Jason Julius in his programme Orgasm Arts, and I’m sure you’ll agree with me that it’s a comprehensive review of female sexuality, all of which is designed to help men take women to orgasm:

Module 01: Mindset For Approaching Orgasms
Module 02: Guiding Her Mind
Module 03: Female Anatomy
Module 04: Clitoral Orgasms
Module 05: G-Spot Orgasms
Module 06: A-Spot Orgasms
Module 07: Oral Sex
Module 08: Squirting Orgasms
Module 09: Troubleshooting
Module 10: Forever Orgasms (Additional Techniques)

You’ll have observed that this isn’t just about physical stimulation. You will have noticed that is a lot of information here about the mindset that a woman needs to be in before she reaches orgasm.

org13partWhether you realize it or not, it’s actually vitally important for a woman to feel safe with the man she is making love to, feel sensuous and confident in her own body, and to feel that the man loves her, or at least respects her, before she is able to reach orgasm easily.

Now if all of this frightens you, my suggestion is that you read the information in Jason Julius’s manual, because it isn’t really very complicated, but it may well be information that you’ve never come across or even understood about female and male sexuality.

When you’re armed with information about the female mindset that can take women to orgasm as well as information about how to stimulate a woman physically so as to make the transfer reaching orgasm as high as possible, you’ll be able to go into the bedroom armed with the knowledge that you are a lover who literally would be desired by any woman!

Yeast Infection & Other STI’s Can Produce Premature Ejaculation

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If you look at this picture you can probably understand why premature ejaculation can be caused by physical conditions like yeast infection. In fact, this picture shows a yeast infection of the penis, the condition is sometimes known as balanitis, although in this case yeast infection is affecting the whole of the foreskin and the shaft as well as the glans penis.

Anyone who has experienced this, and any woman who has experienced genital yeast infection,will know that the irritation can be considerable. It’s this irritation which can cause rapid ejaculation. I think this happens for two reasons: first, the irritation of the yeast infection is such a distraction from the pleasure of sex that the man’s attention is no longer on what he’s doing or the pleasure of his feelings. instead, he’s distracted, and that means that he is not focused on what he’s doing in a way that will prolong intercourse — anything that takes you away from your focus on your feelings during sex tends to make you reach orgasm faster.

Second, the sheer discomfort of making love with a penis that is so sensitive due to this infection is so great that it speeds ejaculation. I tend to see this as a way that the body has of limiting the amount of discomfort that it is experiencing due to the inflammation and soreness of the yeast infection.

Now I admit that you will not see STI’s or yeast infections mentioned as the cause of premature ejaculation very often. Nonetheless I am sure that this is the case, because I’ve heard so many clients who have expressed this very fact. It stands to reason that if you’re experiencing irritation and inflammation in your genitals, that anything which makes the situation worse is going to cause stimulation of the sexual response which causes ejaculation. To put this more simply, stimulation which the nervous system is getting is increased by the skin irritation, and together with the sexual stimulation, the threshold of ejaculation is reached more quickly.

There are plenty of cures for yeast infection. You only have to look at the Internet to see how many home remedies have been recommended by one author or another. In actual fact, during a yeast infection may be easiest if you use a prescribed cream like Monistat or Canesten to alleviate the infection, followed by suitable home remedies which will allow you to gain control of the environment in which yeast was able to flourish. There is little doubt that an imbalance in the body’s chemistry, often involving the excessive consumption of sugar and refined carbohydrates, can allow yeast infection to flourish where it would otherwise not do so.

For women, it’s frequently the case that antibiotics taken to other infections disturb the balance of probiotic bacteria and Candida albicans in the vagina or guts, allowing the yeast cells to flourish and overgrow in a way that promotes yeast infection. The classic symptoms of this are a creamy white discharge from the vagina with intense irritation, pain on urination, and sometimes pain on intercourse as well. Having said that, anybody who’s trying to have sexual intercourse while yeast infection is present in either themselves or their partner needs to think again!

The discomfort is considerable, and the damage to genitals can be made worse by the friction on irritated skin. If you must have sex, use a condom so that you don’t irritate the skin, and you don’t reinfect your partner.

As far as home remedies are concerned, there have been many recommended on the Internet. The most common is to consume yogurt which contains cultures of life bacteria such as Lactobacillus and acidophilus. These so-called probiotic bacteria, which are generally recognized as essential in maintaining a balance between Candida albicans, or yeast cells, and the natural level of immune system resistance in the body. Certainly eating lots of refined carbohydrates promotes an environment in which yeast can flourish, so these need to be eliminated from the diet.

Yeast Infection No More is probably one of the best programs on the Internet for the elimination of yeast using holistic measures, although as always the strategies come down to common sense: eat moderately, exercise well, maintain a healthy diet with the right balance of nutrients and micro-nutrients; avoid stress and get enough sleep. While simplistic, these are the prerequisites maintaining a healthy environment and an immune system which functions well. At the end of the day, the efficiency of immune system is what will keep your yeast cells in check.

It is of course important to be sure that you do have a yeast infection and not some other problems such as herpes or chlamydia. A quick visit to sexual health clinic or your general practitioner should be able to establish easily and simply exactly what it is that is affecting you, and allow you to utilize the correct cure for the problem that you’re suffering from.

Contact Me

If you’d like to know more about any of the techniques or information in this blog, please drop me an email. The contact form below will reach me.

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About Me

Hi there!

Thanks for joining me on my small blog about the art of lasting longer in bed. The reason I wrote this is because I know how much of a problem it can be for a man when he comes quickly and can’t delay his ejaculation in the way he would like to… the reason I know is that for years and years and years in my first long-term relationship I was a real two-minute man. (Here’s the program that helped me get over it !)

What an embarrassment not be able to last longer in bed. And the thing is, no matter how nice your partner is about it, you know what she’s really thinking! The truth is it really does matter to a woman that you’re able to sustain sexual intercourse for a reasonable length of time… the point is she wants to feel you inside her for a least a few minutes, even if you can’t bring her to orgasm through sexual intercourse.

Anyway, after a lot of heartache I found I could gradually get better and better control of my ejaculation and last longer and longer in bed. Having now achieved success in the bedroom – I can basically go on for as long as I want during sex – I’d just like pay that back a little bit by offering some information and guidance to the guys in the same position that I used to be in, the men who want to last longer in bed.

Apart from that, I’m an an ordinary guy, in my 40s, with about the average level of sexual experience for my age – that’s about five or six partners – and making love on average between one and two times a week, which I think is also about average for my age. But boy when I make love, do I do it successfully! And that’s what I want to pass on to you – the art of lasting longer in bed for men.

With very best wishes,

John D S Alexander

You can send me an email from the contact page.