Breathing Properly Can Make You Last Longer in Bed For Men And Stop Premature Ejaculation

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16April2012

In this article, we are going to talk the importance of breathing in order to stay in control of your arousal and  a specific breathing technique that make will you last longer in bed.

You see, If you can control your breath, you can control your body.

If you were looking for a magic pill that solves all problems with no efforts on your part, well I’m sorry to tell you that such thing doesn’t exist. Like anything of value in life, learning how to stop premature ejaculation requires some work. But breathing really is the closest thing to a magic pill.

The breath is the link between what you can’t control and what you can control in your body. For example, you can’t control your heart, you can’t tell your heart to stop beating. On the other hand, you can fully control the movements of your arms or your hands.

Breathing is somewhere in the middle. If you don’t think about breathing, you breath anyway, and that’s obviously a good thing - we don’t have to always think about breathing in order to survive!

But you can also control your breathing, focus on it and modify it in order to change what’s happening in your body. With your breathing, you can control stress and fear, and you can also control your sexual arousal and last longer during sex.

Simply using deep breathing and focusing on your breathing will allow you to decrease your arousal level significantly in no time, and at will. When I say ”deep breathing”, I mean a breath that starts from the belly. Don’t breathe from your chest; it has to start from your belly.

Breathing Techniques To Last Longer In Bed For Men

Now, I want you to simply start putting all your attention on your breathing. Focus on your inhalations and your exhalations. Notice how only focusing on it makes you breathe more slowly and deeply. Notice how you already feel more relaxed, more in control of what’s happening in your body.

Now, try a few deep breaths. Again, I want you to focus only on your breathing. Visualize the air first filling your belly, then rising to your rib cage, then to your heart and then to your throat; be aware of those 4 points as you inhale. When you exhale, just let go of all the air and relax. Don’t force the air out of your lungs but just let go. Don’t be shy – you can even make a little sound like “haaaaaaa” as you release the air.

OK, so now that you know that breathing is one of the keys to control your ejaculation, and now that you know what deep breathing is, you can incorporate it in your practice.

When you masturbate (as I teach my students), be focused on your body and your sensations. Also, be aware of your arousal and where you are on a scale of 1 to 10; it shouldn’t be too hard to focus on your breathing at the same time. Whenever you feel your arousal going up faster than you would like, focus on your breathing and start doing deep breaths as I just described.

I can guarantee that this alone will bring your arousal back down and give you more control. And by the way, you can do the same during intercourse. There’s nothing wrong with focusing on your breathing or using deep breathing while making love. It will definitely help you last longer and your partner might even find it sexy. (Especially when she realizes you’re in control and you’re present in the moment!)

But if you’re worried that she might think you’re doing something weird, why don’t you share with her what you’re trying to accomplish? She can be a great support for you, particularly when she realizes your objective is to make sex better for both of you!

So the tip I just gave you seems pretty simple right? But believe me this is effective. And it can give results instantly too! To summarize, when you feel your arousal going up, focus on your breathing, slow down your breathing and breathe fully starting by filing the belly. This will bring your arousal back down and keep you in control. If you would like to learn more about breathing techniques and other very powerful ways to train your body and your mind to last as long as you want in bed, I have a simple, step by step video program that is available.

Tony Bonacci - Guest Writer

Ways To Last Longer In Bed For Men

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12April2012

I don’t want you to get despondent about the difficulties of ejaculation control: if you approach it in the right way, it’s actually not hard to learn how to last longer in bed. The important question is: “Are you really willing to put in the effort that’s needed to slow down your sexual arousal and delay your orgasm so you can really last longer?” You see, the fact is that in learning to last longer, intention is everything. You have to make a firm commitment to overcoming PE, and you have to practice the ejaculation control techniques with dedication. If you’re not willing to do that, then you’re never going to learn how to slow down your orgasm. And that means that your cycle of fear, shame, embarrassment, anxiety – and fast ejaculation – will simply continue each time you make love.

On the other hand, assuming that you are indeed committed to learning to slow down, then the good news is that there are plenty of simple techniques you can use. In my last post I said that one of the key things about orgasm is that it’s tension releasing. This means that the more tense you are, the faster you’ll reach orgasm. Conversely, of course, the less tense you are, in other words, the more both physically and mentally you are, the more slowly you’ll reach orgasm. To help stop tension building up, muscular relaxation techniques are a crucial part of ejaculation control training.

But it isn’t just being relaxed in your body that’s important. It’s also essential to be relaxed in your mind. As you probably know, if you’re experiencing strong emotions like fear or anxiety, say for example about ejaculating too soon or not being able to satisfy your sexual partner, then you’re likely to come quite quickly whether you want to or not. So mental attitude is a crucial part of overcoming premature ejaculation.

The obvious question is, how do you change your mental attitude? How do you cope emotionally with your self-doubt and the all-too-real prospect of not, shall we say, performing too well in bed? Well, you could break the vicious cycle of negative reinforcement, and one of the best ways to do this is by practising good sexual techniques, in other words learning to make love more skilfully. Needless to say, this is best done with a partner who you love and respect, and who is willing to join in the fun with you!

That means it’s obviously helpful to be in a long-term relationship with a partner whom you trust while you’re trying to develop control of your ejaculation. Having said that, many men are not in such a situation, but if you’re in this situation it’s still possible to gain a great deal more control of your ejaculation, and to learn some simple techniques that make it less important if you do spurt too soon (e.g. by giving her an orgasm before you even think about your own).

One of the simplest and easiest techniques to help yourself last longer in bed is to use breath control. Surprisingly it may sound, debriefing is a very powerful technique that can help you last much longer in bed. Four men, sex is so exciting that our bodily responses often run away with this. You might have noticed how you become tense and excited, and your breathing becomes shallow and fast when you’re a sexual situation. That’s a natural response, but as you can well imagine it doesn’t slow down your ejaculation or extended period of lovemaking. If you actually consciously intervened by breathing deeply and slowly, you’ll find that you can maintain a great deal more control over how quickly become aroused.

The next technique courses I’ve implied before is to maintain a level of relaxation in your body. Tension building up – that means in effect that you need to seek out lovemaking positions which don’t put a lot of strain on your muscles and increased tension in your body during sex. The ultimate position for this is the woman on top position, because you just get to lie on your back whilst she enjoys being the dominant for once and you enjoyed it the sight of her making love with you! If she’s not willing to do this, or you’re not willing to relinquish your position of “male power”, then side-by-side lovemaking positions are a good compromise. One that you should avoid more than anything is the man on top position because having to support your weight in your arms generates so much tension that you’re likely to ejaculate faster than ever; a situation not helped by the fact that you can thrust very deeply – the pelvic thrusts are another key element of rapid climax in men.

Now you may also have heard that pupil Cox Aegeus muscle training is essential ejaculation control. The truth is that most of the advice about PC muscle control is very unreliable, if not downright wrong. For men, lasting longer is all about keeping sexual arousal below the point of ejaculatory inevitability (a.k.a. the point of no return – as you know that’s the moment when you are simply going to ejaculate no matter what happens and you can’t stop the reflux occurring). Any technique that allows you to keep your sexual arousal below the point which went to ejaculate clearly will enable you to last longer in bed. You can do this quite effectively by squeezing your PC muscle for brief periods of time. This isn’t about stopping ejaculation once started, it’s about simply doing that – squeezing your PC muscles for brief periods of time as you begin to become more aroused what you’ll find if you do this consistently and consciously is that your erection probably fade slightly and your level of sexual arousal decreases slightly. It’s a very effective tool: in fact, it’s one of the most effective tools for slowing down the rate which you tramp up your sexual arousal, and it can keep you on the plateau phase below the point of ejaculatory inevitability for quite some time.

Interestingly enough, what you’ll also find is that squeezing your PC muscle when you’re very near to the point of ejaculation actually speeds it up you might have noticed how, perhaps if you’re not particularly interested in what’s going on sexually, and you’re having a hard time reaching orgasm, that squeezing your PC muscle tensing your body can actually bring on ejaculation. It is paradoxical muscle can do to different things, but if you learn to use it wisely, you certainly don’t develop great ejaculation control. You paragraph

And finally the other key element of ejaculation control for men in bed is maintaining focus on what’s happening. By that I mean not being distracted by fantasy, but actually keeping your attention on yourself and your partner and actually sensing your level of arousal, her level of arousal, and the delicate interplay of sexual energy between the two. What you’ll find if you do that is that your arousal is very closely linked to her is, and that’s fine, as long as your arousal isn’t increasing so rapidly that it exceeds hers and you reach the point of climax long before she gets. When you’re open sensitive to have aroused your partner is, you can apply the simple techniques described above to control your own increase ingot arousal, so that your ejaculation is delighted. And that, it’s all about lasting longer in bed four men.

For Men: How To Last Longer In Bed & Delay Ejaculation

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12April2012

I’m often asked what are the key factors, for men, that enable them to last longer in bed? I think the first, and maybe the most important, thing is that you don’t have expectations which are too high. For example, did you know that the average time that men can control their orgasm during sex, before they ejaculate, is only 90 seconds? That figure is not very well known, but it certainly shows that the majority of men have either not learned to delay their ejaculation, or are naturally fast ejaculators, or perhaps don’t care about how long they last in bed.

After all, for men, sex is a rewarding activity whether it lasts 30 seconds or 90 seconds – or at least that’s what we all think. But I wonder if that’s because we’ve all been exposed to the idea that any kind of ejaculation, any kind of orgasm, is a good one? One of the things we grow up with during adolescence and young adulthood (and possibly even as older men) is a habit of fast ejaculation, of masturbating as quickly as possible, and often furtively, just to relieve our sexual tension. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, but it’s certainly unhelpful in lovemaking because it establishes a pattern of behaviour that does not enable men to last a long time in bed when enjoying sex with a woman.

But the reality is actually rather different: to start with, most women who enjoy sexual intercourse with their man appreciate an extended period of contact and closeness. After all, there’s nothing more intimate for a woman than allowing her man to penetrate her and hold him close. It’s often said that men need sex to feel love, but I think the same is often true for women, in the sense that they get a greater sense of intimacy and connection with a man while making love. Secondly, if a woman has any chance at all of reaching orgasm during intercourse, she’s going to need more than 90 seconds of penetration and thrusting to achieve that, unless she’s extremely aroused when a man enters her. To reach orgasm in 90 seconds she’ll need to be so aroused that the act of penetration tips her over into orgasm. And thirdly, most interestingly of all to me, is the fact that sex which lasts longer actually produces better orgasms for men (orgasm is a release of tension, and the more tension, the better the orgasmic release….and the longer sex lasts, the greater the tension…you get the idea, I’m sure).

This raises the very interesting question of why men appear not to try particularly hard to last longer in bed. Most men who seek out a cure for premature ejaculation, or a way to delay their ejaculation, do so because they’re embarrassed about coming so quickly. The sense of shame that they experience, or the embarrassment they feel when they can only make love to woman for a short time, is such that they want to do something about it…

But the reality is, as the statistic of 90 seconds’ average duration of intercourse proves, that not so many men appear to be particularly successful at this. So we have a paradox: we men feel anxious about coming too soon, we feel ashamed or guilty or like we are letting our partners down – or perhaps our sexual self-confidence is reduced – when we do come too quickly, and we certainly know that our female sexual partners would like us to last much longer in bed – so why don’t we actually learn how to do this?

I think the answer lies in a couple of simple facts. First of all ejaculation is so rewarding. As somebody once said to me, “There’s no such thing as bad ejaculation, it’s just that some are better than others.” The second thing is that ejaculation control takes persistence and effort, and in the face of an increasingly intense desire to simply ejaculate as hard and fast as possible (which is what we instinctually feel when we start making love), it can be quite hard to apply the principles that you’ve learned in ejaculation control training. We can thank Mother Nature for her desire to see us fertilize our partners for that one!

So, in practice, any premature ejaculation treatment, any system that bills itself as a way  to last longer in bed for men, has to do several things. It has to provide techniques that are practical and realistic, as well as being easy to use when you’re actually making love. It has to be simple and effective, so that it doesn’t take a man’s mind off what he’s doing when he’s making love, and it actually has to be flexible enough that it can be used by men whose needs are slightly different. In the next post, we’ll have a look at the various ways in which it is possible to learn to delay ejaculation.

The Art Of Lasting Longer In Bed

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10July2011

Why do I say the “Art Of Lasting Longer”? Well, because you need to apply a little bit of skill and creativity to lasting longer in bed. In other words, you need to find the right solution for you, and you need to use it with a little bit of commitment to lasting longer during sex. The official website of the best program I know of, one that shows you how to stop premature ejaculation easily and quickly, can be found here: how to last longer in bed for men. Click on the link now to discover more if you don’t want to read my review of the program.

Great, so you’re still with me. Thanks for reading on. As you’ve probably seen, there are many programs on the Internet which claim to help you stop premature ejaculation. I’ve actually researched them all, and I have to say they’re pretty disappointing. In fact, there are only one or two which actually stand out. Most of them have vast amounts of information, which is interesting up to a point, but pretty irrelevant if what you really want and need is just a practical system to help you last longer in bed.

Certainly when I was trying to cure my premature ejaculation, soon after I got into my first long-term relationship, I felt frustrated that I just didn’t seem to be able to last longer during sex no matter how hard I tried, and even more frustrated by the fact that the programs I bought just turned out to be moneymaking scams or rip-offs. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but some of the stuff out there is ridiculous – as you might already know.

In the end I chose a program which bills itself as “Staying Power”. This is a program written by a professional sex therapist with 12 years’ experience helping men overcome sexual dysfunction. There are several things I like about it: first of all it’s simple. The instructions are easy to follow and set out specifically, so that you have a week by week program of what you have to do and how you do it.

You might be wondering what that actually is! Well, if you want to last longer in bed, there are several things you have to do. The first is that you have to take a more relaxed attitude to sex, so that your anxiety doesn’t spiral out of control, or even just so that you don’t feel nervous or apprehensive around sex. All of those things make your adrenaline spike, which in turn makes you come more quickly. To last longer you need to be relaxed. Therefore the program gives you complete instructions on how to be relaxed during sex, and what physical practical approaches you can take to sex that will ensure you remain relaxed. That includes breathing exercises, physical relaxation, and the right choice of sexual positions – as well as a good section of information on the way you should think about sex.

The second thing you have to do is use a series of exercises to train your body to respond to sexual stimulation more slowly, so that you don’t become sexually aroused as quickly. In a way this is really the key to lasting longer in bed: the author of the program illustrates every step of these exercises with photographs so you can both read and see what you have to do. It involves things such as becoming much more “body-centred” by using sensual touch so that a large part of sex is about getting aroused in your body, rather than relying just on fantasy to get aroused. These are exercises you can do with your partner, and they’re great fun, very erotic and very sensual. In fact these exercises alone will probably make you much more comfortable with sex and much less likely to ejaculate quickly.

The third thing is to become aware how near or far from ejaculation you are. Most men with premature ejaculation find that they come very quickly, often quite unexpectedly, and they have no control over the speed with which their ejaculation comes upon them. By going through a series of exercises which the author of this program described in detail you can become much more sensitive to how aroused you are, so that your ejaculation is never going to creep up on you unexpectedly. And the point of this is that once you know how near your ejaculation is, you can actually last longer in bed by doing things that slow down the increase in your level of sexual arousal.

If you’d like to review the whole program you can find it here: how to last longer in bed.

Simple Ways To Last Longer In Bed

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10July2011

Looking for some emergency techniques to last longer in bed? The simplest and quickest ways to last longer are as follows:

1) Reduce your sexual tension and level of arousal by masturbating once, or maybe twice, between one and two hours before you actually have sex. Sure, this can be a little bit impractical if you’re out on a date, and you don’t have the opportunity and privacy to engage in a little bit of self pleasuring help you last longer later on. But there again, you can always nip off to the toilet for a quick one, and your date never need know what’s happening. If you don’t like this idea, just think how much more pleasant it is to be lasting longer in bed than coming uncontrollably.

2) Wear a condom. This really only helps if you’ve just met your date, and you want to last longer, since you should pretty much be wearing a condom anyway with anybody whose sexual history don’t know. However, it can also help in a long established relationship, but it’s a good idea to use plenty of lube on the outside of the condom so that it doesn’t make your partner sore. Will it help you last longer in bed? Yes, up to a point: and if you’re looking for emergency tactics to last longer in bed, then it’s certainly not a bad idea.

3) Reduce your anxiety about sex by explaining to your date that she turns you on so much, you’ll probably come quite quickly – and then make it up to her by giving her a fantastic orgasm with oral sex or masturbation.  You might wonder what anxiety has to do with premature ejaculation. Well, many guys who don’t last very long in bed usually have quite a lot of anxiety or edginess around sex. But to control your ejaculation you need to be as relaxed as possible before you start making love. This reduces your level of adrenalin, which in turn stops you getting aroused as quickly, and so helps you to last longer in the sack. So, if you do have some anxiety around sex, then it’s a good idea to communicate with your partner about what you’re thinking and feeling rather than trying to be a real “bed hero”. The more open and honest you are, the less your partner will be surprised and disappointed if you come too quickly, particularly if you make sex last for a long time  (at least for her!) by giving her a good session of oral sex and bringing her to a climax before you enter her.

4) Don’t do anything that’s going to excite you like rear entry sex before you know you can control your ejaculation.  Sad fact, but the most exciting sexual positions are obviously the ones that will make you come more quickly. Unless she specifically requests a pounding session of rear entry, you’re much better off trying things like side-by-side sex, where the pressure on your penis is much lower than in any other sexual position, and you’re likely to last a lot longer because your muscles are more relaxed. (Muscle tension speeds up your orgasm, in case you didn’t know.) Alternatively, invite her to go on top, which also puts less pressure on your penis.

Now all these things are very helpful in being able to last longer in bed, but if you want a permanent cure then you need to try out a program specifically designed to overcome premature ejaculation, which you can find here: how to last longer in bed.