Increase Your Staying Power
Looking for some emergency techniques that’ll show you how to last longer in bed?
Well, you’re in the right place, because here some of the simplest and quickest ways to improve your stamina in bed….
1) Reduce your sexual tension and level of arousal by masturbating once, or maybe twice, between one and two hours before you actually have sex.
Sure, this can be a little bit impractical if you’re out on a date, and you don’t see the opportunity and privacy to engage in that little bit of self pleasuring which will help you last longer later on when you’re in bed during sex.
If you don’t like this idea, think again! Just imagine how much more pleasant (and satisfying) it would be to make love for 5 or 10 minutes compared to coming uncontrollably after a minute or less of intercourse! That might give you the motivation, I guess.
2) Wear a condom.
This idea is great if you’ve just met your date, and you want to develop more bedroom stamina, since wearing a condom with anybody whose sexual history you don’t know is standard practice these days.
And it can even help in a long established relationship, but it’s a good idea to use plenty of lube on the outside of the condom so that it doesn’t make your partner sore.
Will it help you stay in control during sexual intercourse? Yes, up to a point: and as far as emergency tactics designed to show you how to last longer in bed are concerned, it’s certainly not a bad idea.
3) Reduce your anxiety before making love by explaining to your date that she turns you on so much, you’ll probably come quite quickly – and then make it up to her by giving her a fantastic orgasm with oral sex or masturbation.
You might wonder what anxiety has to do with coming too soon. The answer is that many guys who don’t have much endurance in bed usually have quite a lot of anxiety or edginess around sex.
You see, to control the speed of your ejaculation you need to be as relaxed as possible before you start making love. This reduces your level of adrenalin, which in turn stops you getting aroused as quickly, which in turn helps you to last longer in the sack.
So, if you have some anxiety about how long you can maintain your staying power, it’s a good idea to communicate with your partner about what you’re thinking and feeling rather than trying to be a real “bed hero” and struggling pointlessly to contain your ejaculation (which will burst forth uncontrollably anyway!)
The more open and honest you are with your partner, the less surprised and disappointed she will be if you come too quickly. This is especially true if you make things last a long time for her by giving her a good session of oral and bringing her to a climax before you enter her.
4) Don’t do anything that’s going to excite you, such as rear entry sex, before you know you have the ability to last long enough to make it rewarding for you both.
Sad fact, but the most exciting sexual positions are obviously the ones that will make you come more quickly.
Unless she specifically requests a pounding session of rear entry, you’re much better off trying things like side-by-side sex, where the pressure on your penis is much lower than in any other sexual position, and you’re likely to last a lot longer because your muscles are more relaxed.
(Muscle tension speeds up your orgasm, in case you didn’t know.) Alternatively, invite her to go on top, which also puts less pressure on your penis.
All these things are very helpful to establishing greater staying power and male endurance, but if you want a permanent cure then you need to try out a program specifically designed to develop staying power. You can find the most powerful program for increasing male stamina available today in the top right hand column of this page.
Control of Stamina – Greater Endurance
Control of male climax is not hard to develop. And that’s just as well really, considering that coming too soon is the most common male sexual problem.
Truth is, this can be quite a challenge to a man and his partner, although often the shame, guilt, fear, anger and embarrassment it produces are hidden behind bravado, some kind of self-effacing excuse or denial of what’s really going on….
When a man has a lack of bedroom stamina and problems with his sexual endurance he may find his lack of staying power emotionally distressing.
Fortunately, it’s not difficult to get control and last longer in bed during intercourse.
Techniques To Increase Your Staying Power
It’s certainly time for some revolutionary thinking on ideas about ejaculation control, developing stamina and increasing a man’s staying power in bed.
One interesting concept is that of vaginal acclimatization, which relies on a man becoming more accustomed to the exciting sensations of penetrating the woman and being inside her vagina.
All that it requires is for the man to penetrate his partner and then rest still without moving.
The idea is that over time, which is about 10 to 30 minutes, the sensations which he is experiencing will change in quality, from a highly exciting sense of sexual arousal to dull, but pleasant, feelings within his pelvis.
This is a significant change, and indicates that he has become acclimatized to the environment of the vagina.
Psychologically, we can see it as the rewriting of neural pathways in the brain, giving way to a more mature and adult perception that making love is not, however exciting, something that need be threatening or over-arousing for an adult man.
Having said that, most men with rapid ejaculation will not find one technique enough to give them much greater endurance and staying power, nor to cure the problem.
So although vaginal acclimatization generally gives you much better control, and helps you last longer, you also need to change your thinking techniques, your beliefs about sex, and reduce your level of anxiety and arousal during physical intimacy.
The moral of this is that effective treatment for premature ejaculation needs a three pronged approach: first, to become more relaxed during foreplay and indeed during intercourse itself.
One of the problems that men commonly experience is that they get over-aroused by being naked with their partner. And yet you can only last longer when you can control your own arousal.
Part of finding out how to develop more stamina in the bedroom is the second aspect of effective treatment: changing the way you think about sex so you can effectively “pace” yourself during lovemaking in order to establish better ejaculatory control.
The third element of increasing stamina is to co-operate with your partner and practice, practice, practice the skills needed for acquisition of good sexual functioning and the ability to last longer in bed.
Having said all that, one of the things that really comes across to me very strongly from current work on men who lack endurance in the bedroom is the need to be more relaxed, and less tense – in both mind and body!
Most men believe that sexual arousal is the product of excitement, and they often feel the anxiety contributes to it — which indeed it does.
However, successful development of staying power does require specific methods of physiological relaxation, on which your mental and physical state can rest during intercourse.
Only in this way can you establish enough self-control to prevent a runaway approach to the point of ejaculatory inevitability.
This has been termed self entrancement arousal, which means focusing on exploring your own body, physically, emotionally, and sensuously.
To become familiar with one’s own body in every way allows a man to rest fairly and squarely within his own body rather than disassociating because it feels safer, or because he thinks that that is the way that he is likely to be able to control his ejaculation.
A man who focuses on his partner, or on erotic material that exists outside his own physical boundary, which during sexual intercourse is generally the man’s sexual partner, no matter how natural this approach may feel, has almost no options for controlling his arousal.
Furthermore, because most men who lack staying power are surprised when they ejaculate, this is a necessary step to controlling climax effectively.
It stands to reason, I think, that if you’re focused on your partner more than yourself, you are likely to be surprised when you ejaculate because you haven’t noticed your approach to the point of ejaculatory inevitability.
Another arousal style called sensual self entrancement arousal is all about focusing one’s own sensations as an endpoint.
Becoming aroused by what you do within your own boundaries rather than what you do with your partner, provides the foundations for a much greater awareness about how aroused you are, and a great foundation for the cognitive and behavioral management of sexual arousal.
Furthermore, this appears to be an aid to relaxation, and it certainly is a lot better than the distraction or disassociation techniques which many men who lack staying power have been advised to try for generations (think about taxes! think about grandma! think about roadkill!)
To take but one example of how this technique works, a man might focus on the pleasurable sensations that he is experiencing in his own penis, rather than focusing on his partner’s breasts or sexual organs.
It certainly excludes the possibility of focusing on other things such as sports, tax or even the notorious suggestion that one should distract oneself with repulsive thoughts of things like “roadkill” during sex!